This is what the inside of my brain looks like.
From my ever loyal comic, Snap Crackle Pop. 
New Redbubble shop open now! Loads of clever shirts and STIIIIIICKEEEERRRSS, whaaat!  New book, super yay!   Vote for Snap on TopWebcomics here!  I do so need your votes, and you can do it every day!Site: homeofthesnap.blogspot.com/Shop: www.etsy.com/shop/voodoopastry
From my ever loyal comic, Snap Crackle Pop. 

New Redbubble shop open now! Loads of clever shirts and STIIIIIICKEEEERRRSS, whaaat!  

New book, super yay!   

Vote for Snap on TopWebcomics here!  I do so need your votes, and you can do it every day!

Site: homeofthesnap.blogspot.com/
Shop: www.etsy.com/shop/voodoopastry

Notes
9
Posted
6 hours ago

Okay please, I need to share — someone with no judgment please give me feedback on the beginning chapters of my porno Creature From The Black Lagoon story!  I haven’t written porn since the Hobbit days…

Seriously, if you want to read it, email me.  mambo_lotus@hotmail.com

image

Notes
6
Posted
1 day ago

After nearly 3 years, I finally put in my notice at my job.  I’ve been walked on by my bosses and need to focus more on my family and my art.  In celebration of moving on, I’ve compiled…

A Short List of Things I Will Not Miss When I Leave This Job

  • Tourists standing obliviously in my way, deaf to three or four “excuse me”s
  • Tourists’ body odor (real talk: just cause you’re on vacation don’t mean your Speedstick can’t come along!  It ain’t too big to pack!)
  • Handing someone a dangerous weapon the polite way, handle first, and having them jab it back at me pointy-end first instead
  • Getting shoved by customers who want to get past me
  • Saying “Hello, welcome!” and getting completely ignored
  • Saying “Hello, welcome!” and getting uncomfortable looks
  • Saying “Hello, welcome!” and hearing “Yeah, question…”
  • Saying “Hello, welcome!” and hearing, “Don’t you mean ‘aloha’?”
  • Being dismissed by tourists for not being Native Hawaiian
  • Being dismissed by locals for not being Native Hawaiian
  • THE EVER PRESENT POO SMELL IN THE PARKING LOT OH GOD
  • Speaking Japanese and getting laughed at by the Japanese people (I’ve been told I pronounce it very well and I’m trying hard so what is so damn funny?)
  • Being continually monitored on video camera by my boss who, while never in the store, watches and listens to us whenever he pleases, and fired my friend for being friends with me
  • The occasional secret shopper who will grade me on my performance, down to my appearance, and once critiqued the amount of cleavage I showed.  (I’m a Dubba D, friend — I show cleavage in EVERYTHING I wear)
  • Sharing a public bathroom with the whole marketplace — a bathroom that rarely gets cleaned and is frequented by ladies who somehow manage to pee ON THE SEATS, I mean, how do you do that even if you’re trying?
  • Parents that hit the door and immediately ignore their children, letting them touch everything while weakly whining at them from the screens of their iPhones
  • Seeing literally hundreds of thin girls wearing nothing but tiny bikinis strolling through the shop on a daily basis.  I’m not judging anyone’s body or clothing, but dealing with my own body issues is hard enough without being surrounded by bikini models every day from 10 to 6.
  • Men assuming I know nothing about weapons.
  • Men looking at our weapons and calling them “wife beaters”. (TWICE A WEEK PEOPLE SAY THIS TO ME.  WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?)
  • Boys who pick up toy weapons and try to kill each other in the store.
  • People who want to talk about how fat IZ was.
  • Fundamentalist Christians who ask me how old our fossilized shark teeth are and then, when I answer, make remarks like, “How do you know, were you there?” and “That’s if you really BELIEVE in evolution!”
  • "Is this for a man or a woman?"
  • People who come up to wherever in the store I happen to be standing and just hold their items out to me, asking me to ring them up, as if I have a cash register strapped to my waist.  THIS HAPPENS ALL DAY.
  • Saying hello to someone and having them respond by shoving the item they’re carrying in my face without a word.
  • Saying hello to someone and having them try to give me their garbage.
  • The parking lot poo smell.  I know I said it already but really.  Every day.  It smells like a diaper truck broke down in front of a truck full of running hair dryers.  Then a truck full of zombies threw up on it.
  • My boss’s vaguely racist, severely anti-Obama leanings.
  • Everyone’s proclivity to treat me like their personal housekeeper.

Things I Will Miss:

  • The short drive to work
  • Polynesian weaponry

That’s all I can think of for now.  I’m ready to say goodbye to retail.

Notes
29
Posted
3 days ago

Many people have had some extreme reactions to my most recent comics, and they’ve been all over the board, which I kinda like.  I wanted to share this thoughtful feedback, and my response.

Captain-Black-Rose 14 hours ago  Hobbyist Writer
After everything, “my dear child” is just… icky. 

Seriously, what the heck is up with Morgan? After thousands of years of seductions, how does he not understand what the emotional fallout would be? There is no way he didn’t witness SOME of it with other girls. How can he act guilty, or feel any remorse? I genuinely do not understand his brain right now. He did his job, which he has been doing for eons, and now he’s “truly sorry” for completing a mission? 

I stepped back and thought some more. Morgan appeared in August 2012, so, pretty close to two years at this point. He has stated previously that no one has ever resisted him for this long before, *and* that he has developed affectionate feelings for Kit (although if I remember right I chose not to believe or trust that statement). So, if I take Morgan at face value, he’s had two years to actually get to know Kit as a person and not just another X on his To-Do list (pun intended). He genuinely cares about her, against his will and in spite of his career objective, which is wham bam thank you ma’am and on to the next. If he really never has spent this long/felt this way before, then it would make sense for him to be emotionally conflicted. He has finally achieved his objective! Someone he cares about is deeply hurt and betrayed, and it’s his doing! 

Conclusion: Morgan will not be able to simply leave, as I assume he generally does. He’ll feel obligated to stick around and tough out the horrific emotional backlash that will be aimed his way once Kit wakes up. Except then he’ll be called away to be a consultant demon for another hard case and he’ll be conflicted about it. (now I’m second-guessing. Seriously, if he is a consultant demon specifically for hard cases, then he MUST have gone through something similar to this situation previously. He MUST.)

Okay. Actual conclusion: Morgan will go back to demon-haven-hell-whatever - reluctantly - then since he got emotionally involved his mind will be wiped and he won’t remember Kit at all, and thus be able to competently go about his job guilt-free. Ta-da!

Fact: I love that I can spin out theories and predictions like this and never, ever be right. You always come up with something different and better. It’s great.
My response: Can I just say that I love how deeply you get into these characters?  It tickles me to no end, and often it lets me know what parts of the story or the character need more illumination or attention.  You bring to light a lot of issues that even I don’t contemplate in my narrow little often-four-panel-viewmaster-show of what the world of the comic will entail.  This challenges me, in a very good way.

As for Morgan, his purpose is to manipulate emotions not necessarily to understand them.  When your life revolves around seduction and betrayal you usually don’t have occasion to stick around for the messy stuff.  Does he care?  I don’t know.  Was he truly sorry, or was he saying it simply to motivate Kit’s fat carcass out of the soon-to-be-dystopia?  Because saving her life is certainly not an altruistic move in itself — as we learned from The Screwtape Letters, if a demon’s human charge should die before their soul is 100% corrupted, hell loses them and the offending demon often gets in deep doody.  

As we see from the final panel, Morgan has some squirmy feelings that may approach guilt.  Does this come from any sort of real affection for Kit?  Maybe, but maybe not.  He’s been doing the incubus thing for many an eon, and all that was once human about him is long gone.  But I want to delve more into what you mentioned, bits about Morgan’s past and what he may have experienced before.  As some readers may remember who read the SCP cast interview, Morgan admits to having been in love before, and also makes reference to having looked for his heart with those two saucy pirate lasses (which may have been Anne Bonny and Mary Ried).  If I’m lucky, I’ll get a chance to tell those stories in some form or another.

But for now, I’m eager to ease us back into the funny stuff!

Notes
5
Posted
5 days ago

gingerhaole:

Chris Pratt interrupts the interview to french braid intern’s hair x

This gives me ASMR tingles. I would have gone into a pleasure coma. Also: how come I can’t even do a decent regular braid, but this perfect bro can do a gorgeous French on the first try?

CHRIS PRATT VOLUNTEERS TO BRAID A GIRL’S HAIR INSTEAD OF GIVING AN INTERVIEW please kill me immediately he’s literally the perfect man now.  And he has two LEGo figures of him.  Honestly, you won’t find better, please someone kidnap him and bring him to my chambers.

(Source: pinefarts)

Notes
59752
Posted
6 days ago
From my broken comic, Snap Crackle Pop. 
New Redbubble shop open now! Loads of clever shirts and STIIIIIICKEEEERRRSS, whaaat!  New book, super yay!  Vote for Snap on TopWebcomics here!  I do so need your votes, and you can do it every day!Site: homeofthesnap.blogspot.com/Shop: www.etsy.com/shop/voodoopastry
From my broken comic, Snap Crackle Pop. 

New Redbubble shop open now! Loads of clever shirts and STIIIIIICKEEEERRRSS, whaaat!  

New book, super yay!  

Vote for Snap on TopWebcomics here!  I do so need your votes, and you can do it every day!

Site: homeofthesnap.blogspot.com/
Shop: www.etsy.com/shop/voodoopastry

Notes
11
Posted
1 week ago
Anonymous asked: Lovely Kit, I received your postcard today in the mail, but dagnabbit! I have no return address! Could you be so kind as to post it so that I can write you a return postcard from chilly Middle-Earth? Then I will express my thanks a hundredfold.


Answer:

EDIT: Only just realized this was asked on anon and so I had to publish my address rather than responding privately.  Write to me off anon or send me an email at mambo_lotus@hotmail.com and I’ll send you my addy there.

Notes
8
Posted
1 week ago

Bananas Foster Chai Smoothie

Just invented a pretty nice breakfast chai smoothie.  Very easy.

1 banana

2 tablespoons plain Greek yogurt

3-4 tablespoons of Chai mix

Big ol’ squirt of caramel

milk (I bet coconut milk would also be amazing with this and super creamy)

ice

Blend and sip!  Add cinnamon on top if you like.  Mmmmmm.

image

EDIT: Still sipping on this and I gotta say, it’s a good fill-up smoothie. Like, if you usually eat nothing but toast for breakfast, make this the night before, maybe even toss some granola on top this bitch, and grab it before you go.  The yogurt really makes it, so extra yogurt might even be a thang.

Notes
26
Posted
1 week ago

Since some folks asked, this is the kind of left-field stuff I do.

Etsy!

Notes
17
Posted
1 week ago

Art has been frustrating me lately because I have no idea where I fit in in terms of my style.  I know what I want to do, I just haven’t found too many people who care.  I live in a tiny surf town overrun with pishy-posh art galleries, and when people hear I’m a painter they go, “Why don’t you have your paintings in town?!”  The answer is that Haleiwa art is all exactly the same, everyone wants exactly the same painting of a wave or a turtle or a landscape of Hawaii.  Landscape in oil, landscape in watercolor, landscape in startling bold light-absorbing neons.  You will not get accepted in Haleiwa unless your art looks exactly like everyone else’s.

Then there’s the hip young people of Kaka’ako and Chinatown, the new art scene of people my age, college kids and musicians, graffiti artists, painters.  Those people are all amazing at a completely different type of artwork, but again, you cannot get accepted if your art doesn’t fit into that style.  I don’t paint naked women with blood pouring out of their skulls colored like a rainbow, or naked women peeling back the skin of their chests to reveal a bird cage, or naked women with half a zombie face.

My art seems too out-there for the Haleiwa crowd and not out there enough for the hip crowd.  Where can a girl go where people want to see yetis and tikis and blowfish and dancing girls and sea monsters?

Maybe it’s just at my house.

Notes
14
Posted
1 week ago

Last night I dreamed I had received my first ever letter of acceptance for publishing one of my children’s stories, and the letter was from Mister Stephen Goddamn Fry.

He had a collation of oddball stories for youngsters and I had submitted one to him in comic page format.  He had liked it so much that he had written his acceptance letter in the form of a comic page as well.  I remember he called me “brilliant” and “my dear girl”.

I was so incandescently happy.  Stephen Fry!  And then of course I woke up.  I had sent Mister Fry no story, and was about to be late for work.

However, later today, while at work, I met a man (incidentally, also a writer, incidentally, also gay) who got on the subject of children’s stories with me and heard that I wrote them, and gave me his card, instructing me to send him my contact information, that he might pass it on to his friend, another children’s book writer, who is always on the lookout for other writers.

Hmmmmmmm.  Could Stephen Fry be my subconscious dream guide?

Notes
17
Posted
1 week ago

Things To Know About Hawaii part 3: Don’t Think You Know When You Don’t Know

I know it’s fun to act like a smarty smartpants who knows facty things, but don’t do this unless you know actually what you’re talking about.  You will in fact sound like a turd stick.

Don’t tell your companions that the state fish is called a hunu hunu.

Don’t explain the finer points of coma wood.

And for the love of cheese and crackers, don’t point to a large (purely decorative) wooden fish hook and tell your girlfriend that this was what the ancient Hawaiians used for catching narwhal.

Gigantic, ARCTIC DWELLING narwhal.  Yes, the ancient Hawaiians caught quite a few of those.  With their wooden hooks.  You baboon.

Notes
16
Posted
1 week ago

Meghan Trainor - All About That Bass

Word up to my thin friends out there, you know I love you —at the same time, this one goes out to ME. And you, and all the rest of us fluffy folk.

(Source: youtube.com)

Notes
22
Posted
1 week ago

I’m sorry I have to do it, but I’m saying it once and will unfollow people if I have to.

TAG YOUR ABUSE POSTS.

TAG YOUR RAPE POSTS.

TAG YOUR VIOLENCE POSTS.

I don’t care if you think the world “needs to be shocked” by disturbing images so we’ll know what happened — I already know what happened.  I am already shocked.  I do not need gore and violence and rape and death on a website I come to after a hard long day of fending off bullshit.  

People come to tumblr for many reasons and they don’t need your politics in their faces.  If someone crafts their dashboard to be nothing but rainbow kittens and glitter dinosaurs, they have that right.  Don’t post untagged violence because “the world needs to see this”.  Trust me, we’ll see violence plenty.  We don’t need it to be shoved onto us in our safe place.

Notes
10
Posted
1 week ago
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